Hello, my name is Alicia, and I am addicted to carbs. It has been 2 days since my last carb-binge.
No. Seriously. I love carbs. To my horrific detriment, I might add.
Bread, pasta, wine, beer, potatoes, fruit, desserts (ALL desserts)... you name it, I love it. I could eat carbs all day, every day and be just fine. And for a girl who doesn't eat much, that is saying a LOT.
I've never really given my addiction much thought beyond how wonderful running is in that I'm allowed to carb LOAD before long runs. How awesome is that?
Well. It WAS awesome. Until I went to see my doc about an aching hip (a topic for another blog post, but let's leave it at- the hip has me sidelined for 10 days and in PT indefinitely...), and because of a weight gain, resulted in my blood sugars being tested.
All I can say about the result is, WTF?!?!
The numbers, despite being on meds, were not good. That, in combination with my slowly growing ass lead my doctor to lay down an awful prescription. Three words that I was hoping I wouldn't hear anytime soon...
Low. Carb. Diet.
She might as well have told me to go easy on the air. I know you low carb, paleo, atkins people are rolling your eyes. Roll them all you want. I didn't realize how deeply addicted to the carbs I was until she told me to lay low on them.
But, I'll be honest, my performance at my last two half marathons was terribly disappointing. And I know I felt heavy, sluggish and out of sorts. Getting confirmation from the doc that I am, indeed, heavy and out of sorts was bad. And good. At least it's not all in my head.
So, I weighed (literally) my desire to be better, smaller, faster against wanting bread, pasta or sweets. And in the end, it wasn't even close.
So, yesterday I jumped off of the cliff and went low carb. Protein. Veggies. And... fruit (1 serving) and quinoa. Yes. Carbs. But ones that she said I can do in small portions.
Today... road trip. Not as solid of a low carb day, but still MUCH lower than I was doing. And I was conscious of my choices. Considered the carbs I was sticking in my mouth. And stood in the gas station, staring at the candy. Fairly sure I drooled, but... I behaved. Walked away. And damn near cried.
Pathetic. But... a victory none the less.
Tomorrow? Day 3. It's getting harder. And easier. But... I'm a marathoner. And if I can do 4 of those, I can do anything.
My name is Alicia, and I am addicted to carbs. God help me.