He said/she said



Surely my husband and I cannot be the only couple where one partner is a runner and the other isn't... and that, my friends, can be problematic sometimes.

For those of you who are runners, you know that running isn't just something we do... it's something we ARE. And for people who are NOT runners, that can be hard to 'get' sometimes. I know that some of you are blessed with incredibly supportive (non-running) partners- and to you, I say congratulations.

Unfortunately, I live on the other side of the tracks. That side where support is sometimes hit or miss. My husband, frankly, does not get the part of me that is a runner. And to be fair, I don't understand the part of him that refuses to be active. Luckily we have other amazing traits to fall back on, or it would truly make me nutso.

That's not to say it doesn't, on occasion, make me want to scream. With each new race or new challenge I look to do, I usually get a 'why?' as an initial response. Every now and then, I get more support than that, and on occasion, less. But the fact remains, the 'getting it' part is missing. When I tell my runner friends about the same races... the same challenges... the response is SO different... and if I'm to be honest, I love the support I get from all of them (you?).

During my long run today, I had a lot of time to just think... and think some more. And while I'd love for my husband to get it more... support me more... I do NOT want him to run with me. Running is MY thing. I'm selfish with it. I don't like to run with anyone else, I don't like to invite anyone into that private space. Of all of the people in the world, I can think of a few whom I'd share that special time with.

Pros and cons. Plusses and minuses. Someone PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one going through this funky marital trip... :P
2 Responses
  1. Ms. V. Says:

    I have no hubby, so no comment...but you KNOW I adore YOU!

    Do your thang Ali!!re


  2. Found this blog a few clicks away from an ultrarunning search on twitter, which I just joined yesterday to promote the St. Croix Scenic 50 mile run (http://www.stcroix50.com) so I am still a little weirded-out by the exposed feeling of blogging, tweeting, etc.

    But, that said, I'll share with the world that I think my wife and I are very similar to what you described. I have had to redefine my expectations around what being "supportive" of my running & racing looks like. She will never care about mileage and times the way my athlete friends & I do, and I will never be as enthralled with bodily fluids/functions/failures (she's a nurse, almost) as she is.

    From my psychology studies, I remember the theoretical virtues of having healthy individualism/independence to make a better union, but the daily, hourly balancing dance is another story.

    Anyway, thanks for sharing and tell everyone you know about the St. Croix Scenic 50 mile run. It's in the US Virgin Islands (no passport needed), so I don't think anyone should have any trouble convincing non-runner family members to come sit on a beach in the Caribbean while you run.

    Happy Running & Warm Tropical Regards,

    Matt